All posts tagged two live colorfully
Disclaimer. This is straight-up a home/diy/lifestyle blog but this site is just an extension of me, not an accurate picture of the whole. Today, I wanted to breakdown a little of that wall by talking about the recent shooting in California and the conversation it spurred on Twitter. I don’t want to do this because it’s the topic du jour or to stir the pot. I want to talk about it because it’s important. Not just to woman, but to a successful society.
I refuse to contribute to the growing amount of exposure dedicated to a sick, sick individual so I will not mention the shooter’s name. What this person did was reprehensible and it has weighed heavily on my mind since last weekend. As is protocol after events like these, people delve into the well-rehearsed “why did this happen?” conversation. Things we’ve all said and heard and read before. “It’s lack of gun control.” “It’s a testament to the crumbling state of the mental health system in our country.” People argue until they are blue in the face and their keyboards are shattered. But the hashtag #yesallwomen that has emerged in the past week is an interesting (albeit unfortunate) conversation that, in the light of tragedy, may birth a new conversation.
Plain and simple, the shooter hated women. Hated them for not lusting for him. Hated them for not chasing after him, but instead being with other men. Hated them for having choice over their own bodies. His plan was to seek out as many woman (and men they chose to be with over him, “the ultimate gentlemen”) and make them pay. Pay for the freedom of choosing.
The purpose behind #yesallwoman is to bring the topic of the misogyny and oppression that all woman experience into the harsh light of reality. It’s not just the hot ones, or the 20-somethings. It’s all of us.
Because I always carry my keys primed as a weapon in parking lots and on sidewalks.
Because I always get nervous walking past men alone.
Because even though I have never personally experienced sexual assault or violations, I know not to drink from a glass I’ve put down in social situations.
Because I lock my doors immediately after getting in my car, and then check the lock again any time I come to a stop and someone is standing relatively close to my vehicle.
Because sometimes the only hint an aggressive “flatterer” will take is “I’m married,” which translates into “I’m already someone’s property”.
Because for every moment of self-loathing I’ve experienced over my weight, I’ve had a moment of thankfulness that being fat is probably a deterrent to aggressors.
Because porn is a fantasy. Woman who choose to be in (reputable) porn have protection. They have signed detailed contracts and have a safety net of professionals around them. Forcing yourself on a woman without her consent is assault.
In rapid response to #yesallwomen, #notallmen has surfaced as well filled with defensive messages about men’s own individual behavior. And it’s important to note that we know. We know not all men are rapists and sexists. We are 100% aware. Our population would be a whole hell of a lot smaller if they were. The point of #yesallwomen is not to disparage the male gender as a whole, but to share experiences and simply let men know the other perspective.
My husband is a great man. He is kind and loving and a proud feminist. But he’s also a middle-class, white male. I would guess he couldn’t personally relate to any of the experiences I listed above. Because as a white man, he is susceptible to the smallest amount fear. He has no reason to do some of the things I’ve been taught to do since middle school. To him, I might even seem a little paranoid.
So, to women out there, you should now that you are not along and your voice does matter and even if there are no sweeping changes brought about by this tragedy, don’t think that the conversation isn’t important. And to the good and gentle men out there, we are not trying to paint the entirety of your gender as the crazies. It is simply an opportunity for you to listen and gain a new perspective, because even though you might not experience these issues first-hand, they do happen and they are relevant.
Feminism is for equality between the genders. Not for female superiority. Sure we have our fair share of crazies too, but the majority of us out there engaging in #yesallwoman only want to be equals and to live free from fear of other human beings.
Two other great articles on this topic:
- Not All Men: How Not to Derail Discussion of Women’s Issues
- Let the Record Reflect by Elizabeth at REWM
I can willingly admit (with only a little bit of shame) that Peeps are one of my favorite spring time treats. I just can’t stay away from those sugar coated bunnies and chicks. But, this year I decided to resist temptation by making my own Spring Time Marshmallow Treats!
Now, you probably all know about my slight obsession with homemade marshmallows. I love to break my recipes for Candy Cane or Bourbon Brown Sugar for the colder months but today’s variation is perfect for a sweet Spring time treat or as a yummy addition to your Easter baskets.
- 4 envelopes unflavored gelatin
- 2 cups white sugar
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 1 1/4 cup light corn syrup
- 1 1/2 c. water (divided in half)
- 1/4 tsp. salt
- 1 tsp. vanilla extract
- Powdered sugar
- Semi-sweet and white chocolate
- Spray a 9×13 pan liberally with non-stick spray, line with parchment paper, then spray again. Don’t skimp on the spray!
- Pour 3/4 cup water into mixing bowl and sprinkle in gelatin. Let sit for at least 5 minutes.
- Combine sugar, syrup, salt, and the remaining 3/4 cup water into a medium sized pot.
- Boil and stir to dissolve sugar. Without stirring any further, heat to 238F (use candy thermometer). When it’s ready, it will start to look bubbly and foamy on top.
- Pour done syrup slowly into mixing bowl. Work up to a high mixing speed and continue to beat for about 12 minutes until stiff, fluffy, and white.. I usually like to put a towel over my mixer to contain the steam and any potential splatter while I’m increasing speed.
- Add vanilla. Mix 1 more minute.
- Spread into prepared pan and let sit for 3 hours uncovered.
- When done setting, spread top with powdered sugar and then release onto a clean surface covered in more powdered sugar. Cut into squares with a sharp knife and dip all sides into powdered sugar.
- Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper
- Melt chocolate and prepare sprinkles in separate bowls.
- Carefully dip marshmallows into chocolate, then sprinkles, and place on cookie sheets to dry.
Okay, tell me the truth! Do you like peeps or not? Every person I’ve ever asked seems to have a very strong opinion either way. If you’re not a fan, can we still be friends??